now that you are a member, to unsubscribe follow these simple instructions:
To unsubscribe from this service you must first purchase a > Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit. The > unit can be obtained from most hardware stores and dental > clinics. Be sure to obtain the proper permits to operate the > unit from the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and the Food > and Drug Administration in Washington DC USA. > > Be sure to carefully unpack the kit and place each component > in its accompanying mesh safety bag. Mount the Pershing > DF4 mesinator on top of the perforated Gerring Mach 77 > refibulator and attach them using the eight-millimeter torque > fork. Be sure that the refibulator is mounted at a 66 degree > angle and properly dispersed so that it is flush with the curved > section of the Pyrex thistle tube. Place the four sections of > the triangular separation gear into the posture cylinder and lock > them into place using the band aid adhesive strip. Insert the > wiggling pin into the wobbling hole, making sure that it seated > correctly. Place the D cell battery and the eleven 9 volt batteries > in the power chamber. > > The device should be calibrated before operation using the > optional digital corkscrew accessory pack prior to operation. > Insert the digital corkscrew through the electronic combustion > service chamber using caution not to touch the reinforced > tungsten igniter control module and quickly turn the inverter > drive to 28.6 degrees. Turn the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable > Subscription Cancellation Unit upside down and hit the bottom > plate with a 48-ounce ball-peen hammer while shaking the unit > vigorously. Force open the door to the incineration valve > compartment and set the pressure gauge to 719 psi. Close the > door and seal it shut with duct tape. The unit should now be > properly calibrated and ready to use. > > Before activating the Craft-O-Matic Adjustable Subscription > Cancellation Unit, you must first elevate it to a height of 229 feet > above sea level to insure that the unit receives the proper oxygen > level and barometric pressure. Point the aerial to 17 degrees north > by northeast to within the parameters of the Telstar GS-2 weather > satellite and apply pressure to the wing shaft on the southern > most section of the modular accelerator. Using the special ratchet > adapter supplied with the unit, rotate the heater core to the "on" > position. > > The "on" position has been obtained when the green light begins to > flash, signifying that the red light is about to go off. Once the red > light is off, flip the toggle switch labeled "ON/OFF" to the "ON" > position and count to 47 before logging on to the system. > > Log on using your user name and password and wait for the prompt. > Once prompted you must check the box with the appropriate action > you wish to take and then press the pressure release button and > turn off the compressor while turning the hand crank at 368 > revolutions per minute. Next, press control, alt, delete, caps lock, > insert, home, shift, number lock, escape and tab simultaneously. > Press enter. > > You will have one second to complete the procedure. If you fail to > respond in the time limit allowed, simply purchase a new Craft-O- > Matic Adjustable Subscription Cancellation Unit and start from the > beginning. > > Please remember that this is the only way we will accept for you to > unsubscribe from this service. We have made every attempt to > simplify the procedure for your convenience. Failure to comply with > the unsubscribe policy will result in immediate termination of your > bank account, erasure of the magnetic strip in all of your credit > cards, failure of your hard drive, loss of your driving privileges in > seven states and the U.S. Virgin Islands, impotence, and hair loss - > so please follow the above directions closely. Thank You.