Post by 73Nova73 on May 7, 2004 14:39:24 GMT -5
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?
GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either
against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of
the chicken crossing the road
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against
it!
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been
polluted
by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on
the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a
gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a
government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out
there is
already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real
Americans take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I
say tax
dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
from
you to
build a road for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had
a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a
certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people
see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
'other side'.
That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is
gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
Boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to
the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a
serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long
dream of
crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads,
but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook, and
internet explorer is an integral part of Chicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition
of
chicken?
AL GORE
I invented the chicken!
THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken
THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road,
and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?
GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want
to know
if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is
either
against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite
image of
the chicken crossing the road
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet
been
allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
JOHN KERRY
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road I am now against
it!
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the other side of the road had been
polluted
by
unchecked industrial greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on
the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a
gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To steal the job of a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a
government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet that somebody out
there is
already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real
Americans take?
Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars. And when I
say tax
dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
from
you to
build a road for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had
a
standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a
certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay --- isn't it obvious? Can't you people
see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the
'other side'.
That's what they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is
gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
Boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal
media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
DR SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die in the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody
told us
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to
the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a
serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long
dream of
crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together - in
peace.
ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
KARL MARX
It was an historic inevitability.
RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?
CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has ever gone before.
SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads,
but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your
checkbook, and
internet explorer is an integral part of Chicken.
ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath
the
chicken?
BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition
of
chicken?
AL GORE
I invented the chicken!
THE BIBLE
And God came down from heaven, and he said unto the chicken
THOU SHALT CROSS THE ROAD. And the chicken didst cross the road,
and there was much rejoicing.
COLONEL SANDERS
Did I miss one?